October 4: Write 31 Days: The Only Voice that Matters Is God's

So, as you may have noticed, I missed yesterday. Because, well, LIFE.

And it's okay. I'm a grown woman and I do what I want, so Write 31 Days will not be the boss of me. It's now officially Write 30 Days and could very well continue to decline from there.

Sometimes the best thing you can do to get back to life that is truly life is to just relax, breathe, and let it go. I guess I could've jotted that down yesterday.

This brings me to an interesting aspect of Life that is Truly Life, which is the simple fact that the only voice that matters is God's.

You who are trying to be justified by the law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. For through the Spirit we eagerly await by faith the righteousness for which we hope. For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. {Galatians 5:4-6}

For the early church, it was cultural norms like circumcision that people would turn to as a way of finding favor with God, of being justified. For the church today, it can look like many different things. We are surrounded by a culture of Christianity when in church, and there is an "acceptable way" of doing things. There are implied expectations on individuals who claim to love and follow Christ, but sometimes I wonder if all these expectations are really from God?

Most of these expectations are even good, like reading through your bible in a year, attending bible studies once a week, serving on Sunday, helping out on Wednesday, and being present at every event in between. But woven deep into the fabric of our being is the lie that we need to earn God's favor, that He's ready and waiting to punish us for our misdeeds and we need to do all we can to tip the scale in our favor. Our good deeds must outweigh our bad, and then we will be okay. We will pass the test. 

However, as many may be surprised to learn, there will be no test. There is no cosmic scale. The only thing that will count in the end is blood: either we allowed Christ to shed His blood for us while we were still on earth, or we can pay with our own on Judgement Day.

So I ask you today, friends, where do you find yourself still striving? Still trying to earn the creds yourself? We as a church body can be doing many good things for all the wrong reasons. We may even be praised for doing the wrong things because it's the grease in the cogs that keeps the church running. Someone has to do it, right?

But I'd encourage you to stop and consider your motives: ask yourself whose voice is telling you to do the things you do. Because the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love, and that will always bring you closer to God. That will always fill your heart with peace, not make it unsettled. That will always create a calmness in your soul, not fill your plate with business and worry.

The only voice that matters is God's. 

And if I'm a follower of Christ, my life no longer being my own, the conviction I receive from the Holy Spirit should guide and correct my steps. Not what the pastor expects from me on Sunday morning. Not what fellow church-goers will think of me. Not the list of things I "should be doing" in order to "be a good Christian."

Any voice that speaks from a place of fear, guilt, shame, condemnation, obligation, or hastiness is not the voice of God.

Whose voice are you listening to today?

October 2: Write 31 Days: Can't Have Life without the Way and the Truth

I'm not used to writing like this--just sitting at the computer, waiting for the words and inspiration to come. 

It's usually quite the opposite--I have an idea or get inspired, and as it begins to unravel like a ball of yarn, I sit down and type as fast as I can, hoping it doesn't get away from me before I get it all down.

I suppose that's discipline, though, and the ideas are sure to come like they always do.

This morning I was reminded of the self-esteem and identity struggles that permeated most of my adolescent and young adult life. The constant self-doubt, inability to measure up, dislike of my own reflection, and desperate craving to be someone else. Anyone else. The comparisons, the shame, the feelings of helplessness in the face of things that could not be changed. 

How I got into that pit I don't know, but I do remember very clearly the evidence I felt stacked up against me: 

Life experiences that proved I was unlovable, that I needed to be more or different.

A total lack of interested boys that communicated I wasn't beautiful.

Harsh opinions of peers that said I was strange and unlikeable, that I didn't fit in.

Very real teenage emotions that confirmed all these facts beyond a shadow of a doubt.

And life has a way of handing down a verdict in a trial you never wanted to be a part of. Fingers are pointed and judgement is cast, from the inside and out, and sometimes it feels as though you will carry it around forever.

These verdicts affect your relationships, dictate your thoughts, and cause you to pigeon-hole experiences and conversations and circumstances into a pre-determined formula regardless if they fit, because it's all you know. It's what you've come to believe and hold true.

And I realized, as I began to consider the concept that God loves me, that I'm beautiful and cherished in His sight, that He chose me, that I'm His masterpiece, it was almost too much. 

Because if you put all the evidence on a scale--the tangible things I've learned about myself from life experiences, personal interactions and very real feelings on one side, and this abstract concept that God loves me on the other--how does that balance out exactly? The evidence I have lived through, the things I have seen, felt and experienced feel much more real.

That's a very difficult scale to tip.

You have to be willing to consider, for a moment, that maybe the evidence is wrong. Maybe your feelings, although very real, are not very truthful. Perhaps, this view you've acquired of yourself is, in fact, skewed, and not in your favor. 

Maybe, just maybe, there are other words to describe you, and me. Words besides failure, unlovable and homely.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. {John 14:6}

And if you're going to walk along this road leading to Life that is Truly Life, Christ Himself, then Jesus can't just be your Way. Sure, once you accept Him as Lord and Savior, it changes your life for eternity, but it can't stop there. It's not supposed be enough this side of heaven--we would miss out on so much!

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. {John 10:10 ESV}

There's a reason Jesus didn't just say He's "the Way" and leave it at that. In order to have Life and have it abundantly, we must also embrace the Truth. We can bring the lies we've believed our whole life about God, others, and ourselves into the light of His Truth. We can expose them for what they are and begin to finally taste and experience the abundant life He has for us.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. {Galatians 5:1}

True life cannot exist in bondage of any kind, including falsehoods we believe. Stand firm in freedom and truth today, friends. Allow Him to speak gently to your soul and tell you who you really are in Him.

My Identity in Jesus Christ {source}

John 1:12 – I am a child of God (Romans 8:16).

John 15:1,5 – I am a part of the true vine, a channel (branch) of His Life.

John 15:15 – I am Christ’s friend.

John 15:16 – I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit.

Acts 1:8 – I am a personal witness of Christ for Christ.

Romans 3:24 – I have been justified and redeemed.

Romans 5:1 – I have been justified (completely forgiven and made righteous) and am at peace with God.

Romans 6:1-6 – I died with Christ and died to the power of sin’s rule in my life.

Romans 6:7 – I have been freed from sin’s power over me.

Romans 6:18 – I am a slave of righteousness.

Romans 6:22 – I am enslaved to God.

Romans 8:1 – I am forever free from condemnation.

Romans 8:14,15 – I am a son of God (God is literally my “Papa”) (Galatians 3:26; 4:6).

Romans 8:17 – I am an heir of God and fellow heir with Christ.

Romans 11:16 – I am holy.

Romans 15:7 – Christ has accepted me.

1 Corinthians 1:2 – I have been sanctified.

1 Corinthians 1:30 – I have been placed in Christ by God’s doing; Christ is now my wisdom from God, my righteousness, my sanctification, and my redemption.

1 Corinthians 2:12 – I have received the Spirit of God into my life that I might know the things freely given to me by God

1 Corinthians 2:16 – I have been given the mind of Christ.

1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19 – I am a temple (home) of God; His Spirit (His life) dwells in me.

1 Corinthians 6:17 – I am joined to the Lord and am one spirit with Him.

1 Corinthians 6:19,20 – I have been bought with a price; I am not my own; I belong to God.

1 Corinthians 12:27 – I am a member of Christ’s body (Ephesians 5:30).

2 Corinthians 1:21 – I have been established in Christ and anointed by God.

2 Corinthians 2:14 – He always leads me in His triumph in Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:14,15 – Since I have died, I no longer live for myself, but for Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:17 – I am a new creation.

2 Corinthians 5:18,19 – I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation.

2 Corinthians 5:21 – I am the righteousness of God in Christ.

Galatians 2:4 – I have liberty in Christ Jesus.

Galatians 2:20 – I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I am now living is Christ’s life.

Galatians 3:26,28 – I am a child of God and one in Christ.

Galatians 4:6,7 – I am a child of God and an heir through God.

Ephesians 1:1 – I am a saint (1 Corinthians 1:2; Philippians 1:1; Colossians 1:2).

Ephesians 1:3 – I am blessed with every spiritual blessing.

Ephesians 1:4 – I was chosen in Christ before the foundation of the world to be holy and without blame before Him.

Ephesians 1:5 – I have been adopted as God’s Child.

Ephesians 1:7,8 – I have been redeemed and forgiven, and am a recipient of His lavish grace.

Ephesians 2:5 – I have been made alive together with Christ.

Ephesians 2:6 – I have been raised up and seated with Christ in heaven.

Ephesians 2:10 – I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ to do His work that He planned beforehand that I should do.

Ephesians 2:13 – I have been brought near to God.

Ephesians 2:18 – I have direct access to God through the Spirit.

Ephesians 2:19 – I am a fellow citizen with the saints and a member of God’s household.

Ephesians 3:6 – I am a fellow heir, a fellow member of the body, and a fellow partaker of the promise in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 3:12 – I may approach God with boldness and confidence.

Ephesians 4:24 – I am righteous and holy.

Philippians 3:20 – I am a citizen of heaven.

Philippians 4:7 – His peace guards my heart and my mind.

Philippians 4:19 – God will supply all my needs.

Colossians 1:13 – I have been delivered from the domain of darkness and transferred to the kingdom of Christ.

Colossians 1:14 – I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. The debt against me has been canceled (Colossians 2:13,14).

Colossians 1:27 – Christ Himself is in me.

Colossians 2:7 – I have been firmly rooted in Christ and am now being built up and established in Him.

Colossians 2:10 – I have been made complete in Christ.

Colossians 2:12,13 – I have been buried, raised, and made alive with Christ, and totally forgiven.

Colossians 3:1 – I have been raised with Christ.

Colossians 3:3 – I have died, and my life is now hidden with Christ in God.

Colossians 3:4 – Christ is now my life.

Colossians 3:12 – I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (1 Thessalonians 1:4).

1 Thessalonians 5:5 – I am a child of light and not of darkness.

2 Timothy 1:7 – I have been given a spirit of power, love, and discipline.

2 Timothy 1:9 – I have been saved and called (set apart) according to God’s purpose and grace (Titus 3:5).

Hebrews 2:11 – Because I am sanctified and am one with Christ, He is not ashamed to call me His.

Hebrews 3:1 – I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling.

Hebrews 3:14 – I am a partaker of Christ.

Hebrews 4:16 – I may come boldly before the throne of God to receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need

1 Peter 2:5 – I am one of God’s living stones and am being built up as a spiritual house

1 Peter 2:9,10 – I am a part of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people of God’s own possession.

1 Peter 2:11 – I am an alien and stranger to this world that I temporarily live in.

1 Peter 5:8 – I am an enemy of the devil. He is my adversary.

2 Peter 1:4 – I have been given God’s precious and magnificent promises by which I am a partaker of the divine nature.

1 John 3:1 – God has bestowed a great love on me and called me His child.

1 John 4:15 – God is in me and I am in God.

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October 1: Write 31 Days: He is Enough

For the month of October, I signed up to do the Write 31 Days challenge for the first time. The idea is to choose a topic and write about it each day for the entire month.

I'll be writing about Life that is Truly Life, which is something I've been mulling over a lot lately. Ironically, the same word that means to ponder, to think about carefully and consider -- mull -- also means to make a mess or failure of. Often in our futile overthinking of things, that's exactly what we humans do.

I've been thinking about how life that is truly life in Christ relates to the homeless person sitting next to me on the pew at church, or refugees clinging to life and each other on a sinking plastic raft. About opportunities to grow and capacity to stretch, about possessions, about values and what's really important when everything else is stripped away. This and so much more.

There's a notebook beside me filled with jotted down thoughts, moments of inspiration, glimpses of a bigger picture, of a world upside down. Of justice, of changing perspectives, yet I find myself steeped in reality at the moment.

I've kept up with the dishes this week, but there's always more waiting for me in the sink. Patiently they lie there in a stainless steel bed until I tuck them in at night, along with the children. Speaking of the children, they're dirty and need a bath. The load of laundry that was once clean in the washer a couple days ago no doubt needs washed again, at the very least, and finally put in the dryer this time around.

There is a pile of shoes arranged in a cruel tripping pattern at the bottom of the stairs and around the front door, the size of which would suggest an army of children much larger then four. Some shoes are too small and need packed away, others just need to find their way to a donation bin somewhere. Perhaps they could walk there themselves.

The discipleship material on the table sits unfinished even though my meeting is tomorrow, pillows are strewn across the floor instead of decorating the couches, homework remains on the kitchen table from last night, the children are currently refusing to nap, and I've talked to the assistant principal a couple times already today.

So this life in front of me today, this very real life, is anything but glamorous, inspirational or world-changing. It's routine. It's monotonous. It's stressful and overwhelming at times. I often forget that my very own tagline is "Meeting God in the mundane. Finding joy in the mess."

But it's an excellent reminder of Life that is Truly Life.

Because, friends, Jesus is Enough.

He promises to be with us always, a fellow passenger on the boat across the sea of life. When the waves grow tall and threaten to overwhelm us, to knock us over and pull us down into it's murky depths, when we are afraid and full of doubt, Jesus reaches out His hand.

You of little faith...why did you doubt? {Matthew 14:31}

And He doesn't just pull us back on the boat in the storm--He invites us into the calm. He creates calm if we allow Him to, if we take His hand. The winds die down and the waves cease, for truly He is the Son of God. He is more then enough, and He has always been.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. {Matthew 11:28-30 MSG}

Walk with me. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.

Keep company with me. Learn to live freely and lightly.

Get away with me and you'll recover your life.

I love that.

The glorious provision in all of this, beloved, is that we are enough because He is enough. 

He died for us, He paid for us, He redeemed us. He is the beginning and the end, and He is victorious. He chose us, and He has already won. 

He is enough.

There is nothing we can do to add to that, and He wouldn't expect us to try. We don't need to accomplish more, be more, do more, or improve more. We don't need to try harder, check more items off the list, get it together, or finally get it right. We needn't be more Pinteresty, more likable on social media, or a better wife or mom. We are enough simply as we are--no more, no less--because of Him. 

Whatever storm you find yourself weathering today, allow Him to pull you back onto the boat, to show you the calmness of Life in Him. Life that is Truly Life. Take all your failures and place them in His open, pierced hands. Take all your "should's" and lay them down at His feet--don't let them should all over you any more today. 

There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. {Romans 8:1}

You are enough.

Come as you are. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace, for He is enough.

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September 30: Write 31 Days Starts Tomorrow

Tomorrow starts the Write 31 Days Challenge, which I signed up to participate in for the first time this year. Discipline to write, which I often lack, is a good thing. It will be a hard thing, too.

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is the concept of Life that is Truly Life, so I will be writing about that for the month. I have a bit more of a social justice and counter-cultural bent then I would've thought even a few years ago, so it will be interesting to see where the journey leads.

If you're a fellow blogger and would like to link up and do the challenge yourself, you can sign up here. If you're a reader or just passing through, feel free to grab a chair and a cup of coffee and follow along for the month.

See you tomorrow with some new content!

September 24: For When You're Running on Empty

Life has a steady ebb and flow in which there is a constant emptying and a continual need to fill up.

Water evaporates from puddles, lakes and neighborhood mosquito-breeders, and once the clouds are heavy, dark and grey, it falls back to earth again.

The gas light comes on in the car, begging for an influx of petroleum before it will go a mile further.

Dishes are unloaded, and, especially with a large family, dirty ones are always at the ready to be loaded in the dishwasher. And repeat.

Early morning coffee cups are sucked dry, needing refilled before 9am if there's to be a prayer of making in through the long day ahead with littles, who sleep about as long as they are tall.

Leaves begin to transform brilliantly this time of year, reaching their glorious potential just before withering and descending to autumn's carpet below. The barrenness of winter makes room for new life come spring.

Bank accounts dwindle as payday approaches, clean clothes are depleted until laundry day arrives, and it never fails that all the toys get dumped out of the bin before any get picked up again.

I watched a video about animal life in the African desert. About the lizards that patrol the hot desert sand in search of beetles to eat in order to survive another day. The beetles are not only their food source but their daily water intake, as well. In a climate where water is scarce, any source of water will have to due. It's a matter of life and death.

Once a year, there is a torrential downpour of a few sacred inches. The water would fall on the nearby mountains and run down the sides in streams, finally emptying out into the river basin below. Animals would flock by the dozens to sip the precious, life-giving liquid before it disappeared into the dry, cracked ground, ashy and peeling with a thirst of it's own. The window of time was only a couple days, and after that, besides some evidence of erosion, the basin returned to it's barren, desolate form.

Lately I find myself empty. Stressed, tired, cracked and worn. I realized today, that from the time the kids get home from school to the time I put them to bed, I'm stressed. Somewhat with their behavior. They seem to be extra crazy, which is merely a fallout from sitting and listening and behaving all day.  So I feel like, in a way, I'm corralling a herd of ornery elephants that have no desire to behave in a civilized manner, let alone sit down, again, and complete homework.

And then there's the homework part itself, which for some is very easy and speedy, and for others, like a bad visit to the dentist, complete with Novocaine, pliers, drills and the like. I hate the dentist, so I get that.

But the homework. At the mention of it, I begin to grow tense because I know the evening of teeth pulling that lies ahead. And I dread even the thought of it. I hate the pile, about a half-inch thick, of avoided work that hitched a ride home to be completed this weekend.

It's hard because he struggles. Because he's behind. Because he hates it, probably more then I do. He hates it and doesn't understand it and is lacking the motivation to even try. He doesn't seem to realize that not doing it won't make it go away. Not learning the material will not make the next lesson easier. And so we struggle together, Ben mostly these days, pulling teeth until well after bedtime.

Emptying that folder one porcelain piece at a time. One assignment at a time. One spelling word, one math problem, one hair on our head at a time. Ben pulls them out of his beard, because, well, he's bald.

Emptying the "homework" side and filling the "return to school" side. Emptying patience and filling up frustration. Emptying grace and welling with stress.

And I also realized today, you can't fill a gas tank with water and expect the car to run. You can't fill a basin in the dessert with oil and expect the animals to survive. You can't empty a heart of all that is good--grace, patience, love--and replace it with frustration and stress. The heart won't run. The mind will deteriorate and shut down.

When I felt it today, the stress, bubbling to the surface once again at the thought of spending our long weekend hunched over the kitchen table, elbow deep in make-up work and obstinate attitudes and frustration, I raised my head, clenched my teeth, and said "STOP."

Just stop.

Stress was not going to fill the space any longer. Fear would no longer be in control. I could feel myself relax almost immediately at the thought of not needing to stress out.

Stress is not the boss of me. Imagine that.

I think with the school thing in particular, I feel responsible to a degree. I feel the need to fix it, to make it better. Now granted, I need to do my part as a parent and be an adult and such, but the other stuff is out of my control.

I can't control his attitude or willingness to work.

I can't make him miraculously understand the things that are so confusing to him.

I can't catch him up to the rest of his class overnight.

I can't be there at school when he's refusing to do his work, participate in reading, or try on his test.

I just can't.

All those things empty me. Because I want it to be better. I want him to no longer struggle, to be confident, to have the focus and will to work. I want our evenings to be different. But stress doesn't have to fill the emptiness.

The reality is, the future is largely out of my control. Maybe he won't finish all his makeup work and lose points. Maybe this weekend will be a horrible schoolwork experience. Maybe not. Maybe he won't pass the reading exam this year. Maybe he will fail this grade. Maybe he will have to start over again next year, maybe even in a different school. I don't know.

What I do know is that stress only adds to the grief, and there is a God who is so much bigger then all of it. And I can choose to rest in Him, knowing that whatever happens, though it may not be ideal, it won't be the end of the world. It won't be anything beyond the realm of redemption and renewal. I can remember that hope exists in Jesus, and I happen to know Him. I can let go and just rest, filling up to the brim with Water that Lives from a well that does not run dry, even in the most parched deserts of life.

If you find yourselves empty today, friends, only One thing will truly fill the depth of your soul. Rest in Him tonight.


{Thoughts after reading Matthew 14, Jesus Walks on Water}